Peter Knapp

#tenqueries 5: YA Contemporary. I wasn’t taken in by the pitch itself & wasn’t connecting to the voice in the first few pages. It felt a little too flat, like a report on events rather than a story we get to live with the protagonist. I love MSs with big emotions on page 1. Pass.

#tenqueries 4: YA Fantasy: author has combined several genre extra descriptors (ex, but not this one: "YA fantasy-adventure romance"), which can be a little excessive. But my true hesitation here was that the opening was too expository without enough tension/action. Pass .

#tenqueries 3: YA Sci-Fi. This pitch is much too vague. What makes this story special, different, unique from other sci-fis out there? Unfortunately, I can’t tell with this one from the pitch. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: YA Contemporary. This pitch is too quiet. The conflict--both external and internal--isn’t big enough for me to believe it can encompass an entire manuscript. Pass #tenqueries

#tenqueries 10: MG Fantasy. This feels more like sci-fi than fantasy—again, remember to pitch your story accurately. I also found the query seemed to rely on quite a few overly familiar plot lines. Pass .

#tenqueries 9: MG Contemporary. This pitch focuses strongly on the challenge of moving from elementary to middle school. But SO many people deal with that transition: what makes this particular character's story worthy of a whole novel? Pass.

#tenqueries 8: MG Adventure Fantasy. This features far too many main characters (I'm not sure who all is at the center of the story and who is a secondary character from the pitch), which perhaps contributes to its very long word count. Pass.

#tenqueries 7: MG Magical Realism. Though called magical realism, I think this may just be fantasy, not magical realism, based on what I've read/the pitch. And the pitch covers so many plot points that it gets a little murky. There’s just too much going on. Pass

#tenqueries 6: MG Contemporary. I can’t tell what the pitch is actually getting at...it feels like it's lacking an emotional element. It reads like we’re looking at a picture of the story, rather than diving beneath the surface for the real emotional plot. Pass.

#tenqueries 4: MG Magical Realism. The first half of this pitch had potential, but as I kept reading, it almost felt like two separate stories were going to unfold, rather than one cohesive story with multiple subplots. Defining the heart of the story is key in a query. Pass.

#tenqueries 3: MG Contemporary. The pitch was intriguing, but the first few pages of the manuscript felt like we needed to be in the author’s head—it felt like staging details were missing & so it was difficult to orient myself/envision the scene. Pass

#tenqueries 2: MG Fantasy. I would’ve liked to see this query focus more heavily on the pitch. We’re given an idea that isn’t developed enough, so I’m not sure what to expect from the plot or how it stands out from other fantasies. Pass

#tenqueries 1: MG Fantasy. Author uses a YA comp & an adult TV series comp for a middle grade title, neither of which give me a sense of the tone. Comps alone rarely result in a pass for me, but then the query itself did little to clarify the premise. Pass. (See thread for 2-10!)

#tenqueries 10: YA Speculative. I don’t think this is classified under the right category, but more than that, I don’t entirely understand how the speculative/fantasy elements are actually going to work. Pass

#tenqueries 9: MG Fantasy: Based on this pitch, I worry that this story might have too much going on, with too many different fantasy-world details and ideas (though they are very cool) packed in to the point where the central narrative gets a little lost beneath it all. Pass

#tenqueries 8: Adult Upmarket Fiction. This pitch has lots of dramatic details, but does not explain clearly enough what the story is actually going to be about. How do these details coalesce into a greater whole? Pass.

#tenqueries 7: YA Contemporary. The query is well-written and concise, but I just didn’t connect to the plot or first page of this one. It feels familiar, not in a bad way but I'm personally not sure I have the vision to position it to stand out. Pass.

#tenqueries 6: MG Mystery // the comp title and the pitch seem very, very close so I would worry about its uniqueness and ability to stand out in the market. The writing is good, but I don't feel quite strongly enough to overcome this concern. Pass.

#tenqueries 5: YA Contemporary: I had difficulty placing this book in a specific era—it’s called contemporary, but also dystopian, and I couldn’t tell which was more accurate based on the pitch. Pass

#tenqueries 4: YA Fantasy // too much happens in the pitch, making it difficult to find what the main plot line is actually going to be, and giving so much information that it actually comes off as confusing rather than compelling. Pass.