Peter Knapp

Q6. MG/animal story. Pass. Cute but stakes feel way too low for my taste. #tenqueries

Q5: Adult/hist. Pass. Doesn’t seem to reveal a new facet of historical event. Felt too familiar & just doesn't jump out. #tenqueries

Q4: Adult/scifi. Pass. Cool premise but very stilted dialogue was hard to get past. #tenqueries

MG/contemp fantasy. Pass. Query tells what protag wants but not strong sense of what's in the way. Where's the central conflict? #tenqueries

Q2: Adult/hist. Pass. Opening didn’t pull me in. Gives too much info in first page without having a strong emotional hook. #tenqueries

Q1: Adult/thriller. Pass. Protag felt overly familiar and voice is a bit too detached/report-like. #tenqueries

Q10: MG contemp. Very sweet premise, but the voice here isn't working for me -- sounds too young to be believable 12y/o. #tenqueries

Q9: YA steampunk romance. Sounds...weird & cool but I'm not sure it's for me. Though I did dress up as a steampunk 5 Halloweens in a row.

Q8: MG historical. Pitch just doesn't sound exciting to me. And the voice in sample is a tad clinical. #tenqueries #askagent

Q7, attempt #2: Holy, this voice. It's good. Interested!

Q7: YA contemp. The query letter is a bit vague, but: Holy—?

Q6: YA. Writing is good but fantasy premise is just too familiar. I need the world building to have a GREAT hook for my fantasy. #tenqueries

Q5. World's longest query letter, and at the end, I'm still not sure what it's about. Pass. #tenqueries #askagent

Q4: YA contemp. Pass. Issue-driven premise a tad familiar so the voice would have to sing. Too snarky for my taste, though. #tenqueries

Q3: MG horror. A spooky adventure with a touch of comedy? Yes. And opening made me laugh. Flagged for a closer look. #tenqueries #askagent

Q2. YA contemp. Pass. Again, opening just doesn't pull me in. Too much description, not enough happening. Who is this character?

Q1: P. Interesting concept, but the opening is all dialogue. Not even dialogue tags. I'm lost.

Writers: have questions? Ask them here. (Note that I cannot answer all questions submitted). petejknapp.com/ask #askagent #tenqueries

And now today's 5 #PLGquery critique selections are on the blog. Critiques to follow. petejknapp.com/blog/ #tenqueries #askagent

(2/2): What is interesting is how your character sees the world. Convey this w/o relying on too much slang, which gets distracting.