Peter Knapp

I have finished #tenqueries. My big note from this batch: don't use slang or dialect as a crutch... (cont'd) (1/2)

10: Bittersweet contemp MG with a magical twist? Yes! A bit too much going on in opening, but want to read more. #tenqueries

...and now quickly reading through sample pages of 10, a MG, because...I'm interested. Hold a beat! #tenqueries

9: YA. Bulk of query is about the inspiration for the book. Not much of a plot going on, just an interesting setting. P. #tenqueries

8: Humorous MG. Character is compelling but not sure what the stakes are -- emotional or otherwise -- yet. Will request partial. #tenqueries

7: MG. World's LONGEST query letter. And yet, I'm still not sure what it's about. Too much emphasis on adult characters. P. #tenqueries

6: YA -- book about a group of teens with super powers. This is just too tough right now & it feels a tad derivative. P. #tenqueries

5: MG hist. fantasy. Love concept. Opening is fast-paced, smart. Protag immediately compelling (and twisty!). Will read more. #tenqueries

4: YA contemp. A coming-of-age w/ cancer story w/o enough to distinguish it from others in this crowded space. P. #tenqueries

3: YA Paranormal. Author pitching it as YA magical realism (on my #mswl) but indeed is YA paranormal romance (not on my #mswl). #tenqueries

2: Strong MG query but again voice isn't strong. Uses dialect to create voice instead of sentence rhythm -- it isn't working. P. #tenqueries

1: YA contemp romance. Cute if familiar premise but the voice in opening is forced. Doesn't sound like a real teenager. P. #tenqueries

#tenqueries complete. Keep your queries focused & treat the writing as you would any: it is storytelling in miniature. #askagent in 10mins!

Q10: YA Contemp. Pass. Started sample pages & the sentence rhythm—a lot of “I [verb]…” constructions—made the voice a bit flat. #tenqueries

Q9: Pass. YA fantasy. Not best fit for me. Also your GAME OF THRONES-esque fantasy better stand out--there's been a lot recently #tenqueries

Q8: YA contemporary with a favorite movie used as a comp title. Query is a tad unfocused, but will look at sample pages. #tenqueries

Q7: A YA (I think? Actually unclear) at 150k words. WAY too long. Pass. Also, says it's currently untitled—query with a title. #tenqueries

Q6: Pass. Another futuristic sci-fi YA that would likely be grouped in with dystopian—not able to sell it.

Q5: Pass. YA thriller. Interesting premise, but not right for me. No real sense of the characters in the query, just the plot.

Q4: Pass. Query opens with a very long rhetorical question & author keeps repeating same words within sentences. Not promising.