Peter Knapp

#tenqueries 9: YA Contemporary. The pitch has BIG questions, but rather than letting the story touch on those questions the pitch just asks them of the reader (again, comes back to the evergreen advice of show don't tell). Pass.

#tenqueries 8: YA Fantasy. Though there are more reasons than this for passing, I feel I should remind authors not to use outliers as comp titles. HARRY POTTER as a comp for a YA fantasy is not particularly useful. Pass.

#tenqueries 7: YA Fantasy. While the premise kept me curious, the pages felt overwritten. Too much description will slow the pacing and keep the reader from getting invested as early as you want them to. Pass.

#tenqueries 5: Adult Thriller. This story includes a sinister plot, a deadly conspiracy, exploitation, a discovery, and masterminds—all words that feel a little boilerplate, but don't tell me enough about what actually happens. Pass.

#tenqueries 4: YA Fantasy. I would re-classify this as MG, not YA, due to the plot details pitched in the query & character age. I didn’t find the stakes too feel high quite or tense enough. Pass.

#tenqueries 3: Adult Historical. This might also be YA, it’s hard to tell from the query, but while it sounds rather intriguing, the writing felt stilted, with too many details told in a way that wasn't connected to character or action. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: Adult Fantasy. This pitch is very allegorical—perhaps too much so for my personal tastes. I don't mind allegory, but the characters seem lost in it here. Pass.

#tenqueries 1: YA Adventure. I worry that this story won’t be able to dive into its subject material strongly enough, based on the low word count (32K), which contrasts with the many plot details present in the query. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: YA Contemporary. The writing in this one just didn’t hook me. It was a little overwritten with literary flourishes -- a lot of metaphors especially -- that slowed the pacing a touch too much. I like a lyrical voice but not at the expense of pacing. Pass.

#tenqueries 1: YA High Fantasy. This query is giving me a lot of info about what the focus of the story is and where the author got their influence, but not enough about the plot itself. Pass.

#tenqueries 10: Adult Memoir. This query spends far too much time focused on why this memoir is better than all other memoirs out there. I don’t need to be told this—let me make that judgment on my own, after reading your work for myself. Pass.

#tenqueries 9: YA Paranormal. I’d have loved to see this query be longer. Concise is good, but too concise and you lose the specificity of your pitch. Pass. That said, I will say I'm open to YA paranormal, especially as we've never seen it before.

#tenqueries 8: YA Sci-fi. In reading the included pages, I found myself uninvested in the third person, present tense voice in the story, I think because it lacked an intimacy and immediacy as used here -- it wasn't close enough to the protagonist. Pass.

#tenqueries 6: YA Contemporary. I’m not convinced that this is a YA novel. It sounds far more adult in content, scope, and voice. I do like a good coming-of-age story told with the distance & perspective of adulthood, but the writing here isn't quite doing it for me. Pass.

#tenqueries 5: Adult Fiction. The writing in the first pages of this query feels forced, as though the author is trying to convince me of something, rather than letting the words unfold in a way that will naturally intrigue me to these characters and the plot. Pass.

#tenqueries 4: YA Sci-fi. What’s confusing about this query is the lack of clarity about how much the main character knows about her world. Did she know about the sci-fi aspects of the world before being introduced to them, or is a whole new world opened up for her? Pass.

#tenqueries 3: MG Fantasy. This pitch is a bit overwritten, aiming towards being literary at the expense of clearly laying out plot points. It also hinges on a character feeling unable to do something, but it's unclear why. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: Adult Thriller/Mystery. This query focuses too heavily on why it was written, how it was written, what the pace is like, what the prose is like… Don’t tell me all of this. Show me. Pass

#tenqueries 1: MG Fantasy. This query isn’t focused on what the plot truly is—I’m pitched a few paragraphs that don’t feel connected enough, leaving me to wonder what the story is really about. Pass.

#tenqueries 10: Picture Book. Though this sounds like a cute story, I’m not actively looking for picture books for my list at this time. Pass.