Peter Knapp

#tenqueries 3: Contemporary. This pitch is very quiet. There's romance and secrets, but I saw hardly any tension or stakes the characters would have to overcome. I can't tell what the climax of the story would be. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: YA Fantasy. There is so much going on in this story: magical abilities, time travel, secret societies, espionage, a … I worry that there won't be one main plotline, and the story trying to be told will get lost. Pass.

#tenqueries 1: YA Contemporary. This pitch is very vague. I wanted to know more details about what makes this novel stand out from others in its genre. Pass.

#tenqueries 10: Adult Fiction: This pitch is explained to me rather than pitched. I’d much rather draw my own conclusions, instead of being told what’s happening. Think of a pitch as a form of storytelling. It must be engaging in that way. Pass

#tenqueries 9: YA Speculative: This is too long everywhere except for the pitch. Remember that the pitch is what gets the agent’s attention—not your bio, or why you’re querying that agent, etc. Pass

#tenqueries 8: YA contemp. A road trip story, which there are many of, and I'm not convinced that this one will stand out quite enough based on the pitch and what I read. This is hard, as it's good writing, but I don't feel the timing is right. Pass

#tenqueries 7: Adult Sci-Fi Thriller. There is not enough of a pitch in this query, and too many rhetorical questions. Don’t give your readers the option of answering those questions with “no” and losing interest. Pass.

#tenqueries 6: YA Fantasy. This has a classic underdog/David vs. Goliath premise, but it's pitched in a way that doesn't invest us in this underdog's success. It's hard to get any sense of the protag, and so he felt too much like a vehicle for the premise. Pass.

#tenqueries 5: YA Contemporary. I wasn’t taken in by the pitch itself & wasn’t connecting to the voice in the first few pages. It felt a little too flat, like a report on events rather than a story we get to live with the protagonist. I love MSs with big emotions on page 1. Pass.

#tenqueries 4: YA Fantasy: author has combined several genre extra descriptors (ex, but not this one: "YA fantasy-adventure romance"), which can be a little excessive. But my true hesitation here was that the opening was too expository without enough tension/action. Pass .

#tenqueries 3: YA Sci-Fi. This pitch is much too vague. What makes this story special, different, unique from other sci-fis out there? Unfortunately, I can’t tell with this one from the pitch. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: YA Contemporary. This pitch is too quiet. The conflict--both external and internal--isn’t big enough for me to believe it can encompass an entire manuscript. Pass #tenqueries

#tenqueries 1: YA Contemporary. This query is well-written and engaging, and more than anything, makes me curious to see how everything is going to play out. Request. (An auspicious start!)

#tenqueries takeaway: I like quiet middle grade novels. One of my favorite MG's is THE THING ABOUT LUCK by Cynthia Kadohata, which is definitely on the quieter side plot-wise, but emotionally it is LOUD and so resonate and perfect. Defining your emotional hook is KEY.

Some #tenqueries takeaways: you make your premise interesting by being specific but also focused. Don't throw in every plot line, but instead define what your story is at a core level. If you can't do that, it may be a bigger editorial issue to revisit in the MS itself.

#tenqueries 10: MG Fantasy. This feels more like sci-fi than fantasy—again, remember to pitch your story accurately. I also found the query seemed to rely on quite a few overly familiar plot lines. Pass .

#tenqueries 9: MG Contemporary. This pitch focuses strongly on the challenge of moving from elementary to middle school. But SO many people deal with that transition: what makes this particular character's story worthy of a whole novel? Pass.

#tenqueries 8: MG Adventure Fantasy. This features far too many main characters (I'm not sure who all is at the center of the story and who is a secondary character from the pitch), which perhaps contributes to its very long word count. Pass.

#tenqueries 7: MG Magical Realism. Though called magical realism, I think this may just be fantasy, not magical realism, based on what I've read/the pitch. And the pitch covers so many plot points that it gets a little murky. There’s just too much going on. Pass

#tenqueries 6: MG Contemporary. I can’t tell what the pitch is actually getting at...it feels like it's lacking an emotional element. It reads like we’re looking at a picture of the story, rather than diving beneath the surface for the real emotional plot. Pass.