Kelly ๐Ÿ“š

@LitAgentKelly

Agent, PR & Communications at @CorvisieroLit . Khaleesi. Philadelphian. Pisces. She/her. Multitasks #LikeABoss . Gandalf of #TheFellowship . Tweets are my own.โœŒ๐Ÿป

Philadelphia, PA

Corvisiero Agency

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 11. Quite a bit of telling in the pages! Not much showing, so no connection with the story or character. :(

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 10. A little too proper in language, not utilizing contractions, etc.. Because of this, it doesnโ€™t quite flow like I would hope it would. Another unfortunate pass. :(

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 9. Manuscript under 30k words for an adult genre. Far too low to sell! Sorry, but it has to be a pass.

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 8. Picture book, which I donโ€™t represent at this time. Sorry! Pass.

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 7. The opening of this one has so much world building that itโ€™s slightly overwhelming and seems unnecessary. Iโ€™m unfortunately not being drawn into your characterโ€™s story because thereโ€™s nothing about your character here to connect to. Just whatโ€™s around them.

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 6. Iโ€™m very confused how this manuscript is three different genres that are exact opposites of each other? What confuses me more is that the query is only a sentence long and tells me nothing about the manuscript? Sorry, but this is a pass.

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 5. Breaking the 4th wall in order to set up a scene in the beginning just doesnโ€™t work for me. Iโ€™d rather you jump me right in to the characterโ€™s perspective rather than trying to set a scene by having your character talk directly to me. Sorry!

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 4. Short, chopped sentences with a lack of fluency due to telling rather than showing in the opening. Word count is also low due to this, as it usually takes more words to show. :( Pass.

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 3. Starting with a lot of backstory and flashbacks, which isnโ€™t engaging me with the character and pulling me into the story. Unfortunate pass.

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 2. Great premise, unfortunately the writing/voice was just sounding more adult than YA to me. Unfortunate pass, because that was a super cool concept. :(

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 3d

#tenqueries 1. Good opening with character and intrigue, but not much world building and a bit too much telling in order to try to fit a large amount of details in there. Be careful of this in opening scenes as it distances your reader with too much info!

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 30 Mar 2016

Good and interesting concept, but just. Not. Quite. There. The voice just isn't as prominent as I'd like it to be. #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 30 Mar 2016

I repeat: a manuscript with a MC that starts as 18 or older does not belong in the YA age range... #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 29 Mar 2016

Interesting concept, but just not quite grabbing me like I'd wish it to... #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 29 Mar 2016

*sigh* The amount of queries I've opened claiming to be YA, but the main character is in college or older... #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 28 Mar 2016

Writing in first person is DIFFICULT. Make sure you vary your sentence structure, even more if not practiced! #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 28 Mar 2016

Oy, so close, but just not quite there. A little too much description and not enough polish in the writing. #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 28 Mar 2016

When querying, your manuscript should be polished to gold in your standards, without multiple spelling mistakes. #tenqueries #FindingMyOne

Kelly ๐Ÿ“š @LitAgentKelly · 28 Mar 2016

Be careful with your opening! Open with a bang, draw your readers in, then let the description trickle through. #tenqueries #FindingMyOne