Hannah VanVels

For something to be a true romance, it needs to hit specific beats. Otherwise you have a fantasy with romantic elements. Check out Romancing the Beat for more details! #RevPit #10queries

Basically! It's okay to move that metadata section around. I prefer to have it right up front but others put towards the end of the query, and that's okay too. Here's an example:
reviseresub.com/annual-contest…

#RevPit #10Queries

Romantic fantasy totally works! And to be clear, most fantasy does have romance in it. #RevPit #10Queries

Romance as its own genre has specific beats that it needs to hit. Check out Romancing the Beat for the specifics. A lot of the times, a fantasy novel can have as strong romantic element but not be a "romance." #RevPit #10Queries

Opening pages are NOT formulaic but there are some solid craft conventions that make opening pages strong. This is why it's important to have strong craft so you can make the intentional decision to deviate from norms. #RevPit #10Queries (2/2)

Query letters are formulaic and you can use that to your advantage by adhering to that formula. An agent/publisher is most often skimming query letters as they receive so many so the content itself is what stands out #RevPit #10Queries (1/)

A hook is a basic 1-2 sentence pitch that communicates the stakes of your story without giving away the answers. #RevPit #10Queries

P10: I thought this was going to be too much from the query, but it's tamer than the query led me to believe, more Goosebumps less Stephen King. Have betas who haven't read your book yet read over your query to make sure it's giving the vibe you intend!

#RevPit #10Queries

Q10: MG H. For the horror genre, this premise skews a little more mature than I would expect for the age range. Think more Goosebumps level for MG readers and nothing too graphic. Read recent MG horrors to get an idea for how much is too much.

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P9: Good writing that tends to be a little more introspective than I was expecting for MG. Not a huge red flag, but with an adventure novel, we want a balance between internal and external conflicts. Adventure tends to lean more towards external.

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Q9: MG A. This adventure story has some great STEM elements that shows me that they are thinking of how this book might have future institutional appeal. Libraries and schools are a huge market for MG, so it's great to see the author thinking about this.

#RevPit #10Queries

P8: For a HF, the voice feels fairly modern. When writing HF, you don't need to skew formal or anything, but do keep an eye on idioms and slang to make sure it's authentic to your time period.

#RevPit #10Queries

Q8: MG HF. A great premise with a killer closing paragraph that shows what the "ticking bomb" is. What drives the story forward and why does the MC need to fix it ASAP?

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P7: Writing is fairly granular in the details. Leave some of those up to the reader's imagination. Is it necessary to know that Character A is 5'1" with sandy brown hair? If not necessary to the plot, some of these details can be axed.

#RevPit #10Queries

Q7: MG F. Effective use of comps in this query that is a great example of showing how to comp to things other than plot. You can pick aspects of your story to comp to! A story is so much more than just a plot.

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P6: Dialogue-heavy in the opening pages, which doesn't give me an opportunity to get to know the MC. Dialogue can be used for info-dumping, which is what is happening here. Weave in backstory when necessary but that doesn't always need to happen in the first 5.
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Q5: MG SF. Clearly communicates the conflict of the story, what's at stake, and why the character needs to solve this problem now. And doesn't spoil the ending! Queries like this make me excited to read the pages.

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P4: The writing leans on telling rather than showing and gives a lot of information about the world right off the bat. Rein it in and save some of the backstory for your notebooks or reveal strategically when necessary to the plot.

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Q4: MG F. This was pitched as magical realism but is actually MG F. People often misunderstand what magical realism is, but @ekbuege has a great blog post on it here:elizabethbuege.com/magic-realism-…

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P3: Solid character voice that feels authentic to the age range and is appropriate for the M genre. Using vocabulary, sentence structure, and and thematic complexity that it's appropriate for the age range.

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