Leah Pierre

P9 YA F: Disorientation from query follows as relationships nor setting is clearly established. I felt dropped into the world with no⚓️ Worldbuilding needs some improvement. #RevPit #10Queries

Q9 YA F: Too much background--needs to be more concise.
Also, who is who? Neither the relationships nor the stakes are clear. Makes my head go🤯trying to keep up #RevPit #10Queries

P8 A SF: I was lost the first few pages as the query set me up to expect something completely different😬But pages did a great job of setting up the world & establishing character relationships once I figured out what was going on #RevPit #10Queries

Q8 A SF: Very interesting concept! Major✂️vibes! Not a very strong opening but the stakes are crystal clear. With some rearranging, you will be fine. #RevPit #10Queries

P7 MG CON: Great voice for an MG MC but it does feel a bit forced at times. Could provide relevant info sooner as to not leave the reader in the dark/confused as to why the MC is hiding a certain *something* of their bf's #RevPit #10Queries

Q7 MG CON: A bit of a jumble. Very unsure about the background/stakes. Please clarify the who, what, when, where, why, and how.

Also, you need to add some of that great voice you have in your P to age it down as your query reads as A not MG👀
#RevPit #10Queries

P6 A SF: Too much alluding and not enough explanations. Didn't feel oriented in the world as there is no real explanation of who is who, why they matter, and how they fit into the plot. Need stronger world-building. #RevPit #10Queries

Q6 A SF: Good job sticking to relevant plot points but not enough info on these plot points for readers to really understand the concept of the story or the stakes #RevPit #10Queries

P5 A T: Really good! Only a few cosmetic suggestions. Also, a few points could be reinforced in these opening pages: 🎶and 👩‍🦳 #RevPit #10Queries

Q5 A T: A little wordy and maybe even reveals a bit too much? Felt as if it was all laid out there--leaving no twists left to be discovered when reading the MS. #RevPit #10Queries

P4 MG M: Really well done! Great tone and distinct voices! Appreciate that the conflict/issue the MCs are going to face is introduced early on. Just one minor suggestion: add some physical descriptions to your characters! #RevPit #10Queries

Q4 MG M: Almost lost me with too much info in 1st para...BUT I was reeled back in with the right amount of info and the voice that came out in the 2nd para! Oh and don't be afraid to hype yourself up in your bio!📢 #RevPit #10Queries

P3 YA CON: Have a few questions about how realistic certain aspects are. Other than that, great voice! It's jumping off the pages! Was able to get a great feel of the MC right off the🦇 I think you need to add some of that voice to your query! #RevPit #10Queries

Q3 YA CON: Another one that focuses too much on one plot point and not enough on the intriguing subplot. Tell me more about that! #RevPit #10Queries

P2 A F: Focuses on & avoids explaining a certain *thing* within the 1st 2 pgs. Doesn't clue readers in on any of the politics of the world. Reads like an info dump that we can't make sense of bc we're not given the info/tools to discern
#RevPit #10Queries

Q2 A F: A bit sparse in terms of plot for this to be adult fantasy. Need more info on plot to help clearly define the stakes

And *gasp* no comps!😱
#RevPit #10Queries

P1 A SF: Setting/Worldbuilding not properly established so I was very disoriented💫 Too focused on trying to understand where the story was taking place for me to get a good grasp of what the MC was doing in the moment #RevPit #10Queries

Q1 A SF: Too much info in 1st para--save some to be revealed in MS! If you delete 1st para then lead with 2nd you’ll be fine #RevPit #10Queries

The time for my #RevPit #10Queries session is here! See below for the cheat code!

Q: query
P: first pages

A: adult
YA: young adult
MG: middle grade

F: fantasy
SF: sci-fi
T: thriller
M: mystery
CON: contemporary