Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

P4: The writing leans on telling rather than showing and gives a lot of information about the world right off the bat. Rein it in and save some of the backstory for your notebooks or reveal strategically when necessary to the plot.

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

Q4: MG F. This was pitched as magical realism but is actually MG F. People often misunderstand what magical realism is, but @ekbuege has a great blog post on it here:elizabethbuege.com/magic-realism-…

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

P3: Solid character voice that feels authentic to the age range and is appropriate for the M genre. Using vocabulary, sentence structure, and and thematic complexity that it's appropriate for the age range.

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

Q3: MG M. Starts off with an effective hook that compels me to keep reading. An effective hook gives me a snapshot of what this book is about in just a sentence or two. It tells me what the MC wants and what stands in their way.

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

P2: Writing is stiff and formal. This is something that many MG writers fall into. They try to imitate CS Lewis or other "classic" writers of children's lit. Read widely of recent books that have been published to get a better feel for that elusive MG voice.

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

Q2: MG C. The premise of this story strikes me as a little mature for MG and might be better suited for YA. Think about the emotional intensity of your story when writing MG and the internal, emotional wounds of a younger MC.

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

P1: Heavy on the telling instead of showing. Put us in the scene with your reader; don't simply tell us about what the MCs are experiencing. We want to experience it too!

I'm gonna drop @Maria_Tureaud's blog post on the topic: mariatureaud.com/2017/08/10/sho…

#RevPit #10Queries

Hannah VanVels
@hannahvanvels
Literary Agent
📚 Literary Agent @belcastr | Editor | Writer | #RevPit | Devoted German shepherd & cat mom | Amateur baker | Sparkling water enthusiast | she/her ✏️
55 MSWL
55 AskAgent
65 Queries
3 Tips

Q1: MG F. Starts with the synopsis of the story, which doesn't immediately pull me in. I am a fan of the Hook, Book, Cook layout of a query letter. First start with the hook of your story, then a short summary of the book (no spoilers!), and an author bio.

#RevPit #10Queries

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q10: Science Fiction: I always enjoy a good heist story, but I struggle to sell them and I have two on my list already so I'm going to pass on this one. Pass. #tenqueries 11/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q9: YA Contemporary: The blurb in this query doesn't really give me much to go on, but there's one element I can't get past so it's a no for me. Pass. #tenqueries 10/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q8: Contemporary Romance: This is meta in a way that doesn't quite work for me. Pass. #tenqueries 9/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q7: YA Contemporary: This explores grief and loss in a way I really love, but there's this level of improbability that I can't quite let go of. Pass. #tenqueries 8/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q6: Contemporary Romance: This enemies-to-lovers set-up has all the elements that I adore and I can't resist. Full Request. #tenqueries 7/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q5: YA Contemporary: This breaks the fourth wall in a way that isn't quite working for me. Super voicey and fun, but just not the right fit. Pass. #tenqueries 6/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q4: Science Fiction: This is fun and feminist which is what I'm looking for in Sci-Fi but I'm not really connecting to the story the way I would like to keep reading. Pass #tenqueries 5/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q3: Fantasy: It's true that I always enjoy a good pirate story, it's also true that I've struggled to sell them in the adult space. Pass. #tenqueries 4/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q2: YA: This really should be comped to We Were Liars, and I hated that book so this is a pass for me. Pass. 3/ #tenqueries

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q1: Middle Grade: This is a sweet friendship story, I'm not sure about the dual POV, but I'm intrigued enough to want to see where this is going. Full Request. #tenqueries 2/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q20: Contemporary Romance: There are too many degrees of lying done by the main characters that I find off-putting. I also struggle with the power dynamics of this particular pairing. #tenqueries #bonusquery 21/

Eva Scalzo
@evascalzo
Literary Agent
a boricua🇵🇷 who has never met a tangent she wouldn’t follow | lit agent @ Speilburg Literary | AALA & SCBWI | she/her/ella/ms. | links in bio
89 MSWL
444 Queries
39 Tips

Q19: Rom-Com: Okay so there is something about the voice in this one, and it's like sunny chaotic one meets grumpy strait-laced one and I adore that pairing. Full Request. #tenqueries #bonusquery 20/