P6: Voice feels a little mature for traditional MG, but that’s okay! MG readers are at many different reading levels, so this will be down to personal preference. Great concept and pages clarify some of the conflict confusion in the query. #RevPit #10Queries

Q6: MG SPF. Conflict on conflict on conflict. I want to know about the conflict in the query, but stick to the main conflict and save the subplots for the pages. Focus on the stakes of the main conflict and build that tension up, leaving the rest for the pages. #RevPit #10Queries

P5: Opening has a bit too much telling and not enough showing. It’s feeling backstory-heavy, which takes us out o the plot and lessens tension. Reveal backstory as it’s necessary, and you don’t need to do it all up front. #RevPit #10Queries

Q5: A CM. Great voice in the query letter that doesn’t come off as gimmicky but rather promises personality in the pages. Some stakes are lost in the query due to a few confusing points. Queries should be all about the stakes and showing the tension. #RevPit #10Queries

P4: Voice feels a little old for YA, and depending on the timeline we spend the most time in and the themes focused on, this might be better pitched as an A project instead. Evaluate comps to see where this might fit into the market. #RevPit #10Queries

Q4: YA SPF. Starts with a great one-liner hook. Multiple timelines in this book, and the details are a little hazy on which timeline is which in the query, and so I’m missing stakes due to confusion. Keep as simple and straightforward as possible in the query. #RevPit #10Queries

P3: Natural voice and good introduction to MC. Flirty banter with love interest has me making heart eyes at the love interest as well—this means you’ve got your reader invested! #RevPit #10Queries

Q3: A R. Fresh concept and take on romance, but story details a little muddy here and there. It’s helpful to have someone read your query who hasn’t read your book to be sure that you include just enough to tease. #RevPit #10Queries

P2: Not getting a very strong sense of the “before” here, as the inciting incident happens right at the end of chapter 1. With H, I want more moodiness, atmosphere, and tension, and the pace was moving too quickly to build tension. #RevPit #10Queries

Q2: A H. Pitched as “gothic” horror, this doesn’t quite fit the bill for that subgenre. It’s okay to simply pitch as horror. Query runs a bit long in the intro. It’s effective to keep your query intros short and hook-y. #RevPit #10Queries

P1: Great voice for YA and this genre. Strong pages that immediately set the tone for the story, and background information is skillfully woven in without losing plot momentum. #RevPit #10Queries

Q1: YA RomCom. This concept is 😍 with a great hook but gets a little too in the weeds re: the plot. Focus on big picture and save the specific details for the synopsis/pages! #RevPit #10Queries

My mom is walking around, exclaiming about how much she likes @ceciliaclyra (“Wow! Words of affirmation!”) so, if you also feel like an uplifting podcast, check out her #TenQueries episode! manuscriptacademy.com/podcast-cecili…

And that's a wrap for this week. As of now all queries prior to November 1st have been answered. I've read up to November 15th, & have a handful between those dates that I need some extra time with. I have 36 pending from November & 44 pending from December. #tenqueries

Q10: YA Paranormal: The logline for this is basically the same logline as most of the YA paranormal out there. This is missing that high-concept hook. Pass. #tenqueries

Q9: YA Contemporary: The stakes for this one don't quite work for me, in that I don't believe anyone would be forced to give up a career in STEM if their parents care. Like it doesn't make sense. Pass. #tenqueries

Q8: YA Fantasy: I'm just intrigued enough by this contemporary fantasy to see where it is headed. Full Request. #tenqueries

Q7: YA Fantasy: These have all been really difficult, there's something about the voice here that doesn't feel right for YA, so I'm letting it go. Pass. #tenqueries

Q6: Fantasy: This is an epic historical fantasy and a multi-generational saga and those keywords are generally not a good fit for me. Pass. #tenqueries

Q5: Paranormal Mystery: Again this has a lot of elements I like, which makes these really tough calls. But in the end, the opening pages don't grab me in a way that makes me want to keep reading. Pass. #tenqueries