P6 A T(hriller):

Characters definitely drew me in and left me wanting to read more! Yet, I do think the opening reads more like a second chapter rather than an opening. That groundwork given to us in an opening chapter is missing.

#10Queries #RevPit

Q6 A T:

Just a few cosmetic things: switch a few sentences around and expound on some plot points and stakes. Other than that really good—I already feel the tension between the MCs and I'm here for it 👀

#10Queries #RevPit

P5 A M:

Sorry to say I was completely lost. Nothing was explained to help ground and orient the readers. I think it would help if you were less inside the MCs head and explain what happen then show that ties into the overall plot.

#10Queries #RevPit

Q5 A M:

This one is also reading moreso like a summary. Remember to be succinct! You want to give them enough to hook then reel them in and once you have let them uncover all you've left out for shock value and make them feel all the feels

#10Queries #RevPit

P4 MG F:

Opening scene feels like it should be later as it doesn’t properly introduce readers to the world. Expand your world building & explain things—don’t wait for your readers to pick up on it 50 pgs later, they'll be frustrated

#10Queries #RevPit

Q4 MG F:

Couldn't tell what the stakes were nor could I say that I understood the plot of this one. Things aren't properly woven together and I think to fix you're going to have to clarify and go a bit more in-depth about the plot/stakes the MC has to face

#10Queries #RevPit

P3 YA R/C:

Lets speed it up a bit! 🏍💨 Felt too much I was reading about the MC going through the motion/mundane. But that’s nothing a little flip flop of scenes won't fix! Sometimes the perfect opening scene occurs later on!

#10Queries #RevPit

Q3 YA R/C: After a few clarifications and sentence restructures and you’ll be good to blow these agents away! There's a great balance of background info, the hardship the MC will be dealing with, and the stakes the MC will be forced to face.

#10Queries #RevPit

P2 YA Spec Fic:

Hook, line, and sink! The tone and dark atmosphere is very intriguing and makes me want more! Great job!

Q2 YA Spec Fic:

Another one that reveals a bit too much information. Y'all, sometimes less is more! It keeps them wanting more...let the agent be surprised when they read but that can't happen if everything is laid out for them

P1 MG F: Didn’t really feel oriented in this one as I couldn’t get clear picture of the setting/the characters. Too much telling of the character's emotion. Don't just tell us how they're feeling--show us! Through their actions and words!

Q1 MG F: Make sure you’re keeping your query letter short and to the point! Be careful not to reveal too much to the point where this starts to read like a summary rather than a pitch. I’d recommend cutting some from this query.

P10: Voice drips right off the page. Good use of deep POV, great showing of emotion, and wonderfully close narration. I already have a crush on the love interest. #RevPit #10Queries

Q10: A PR. Concept and story feel very fresh. Some plot confusion which lessens the stakes of the conflict. Remember, lower stakes equal lower tension, and we want ALL the tension in a query! #RevPit #10Queries

P9: VOICE. FOR. DAYS. Really effective use of mood and tone to support this part of the MC’s more tragic backstory. Makes reader feel very close to MC right from the beginning and highly invested. #RevPit #10Queries

Q9: YA R. This is a little out of the ordinary from a traditional query format, but it’s highly effective. Good balance of romance and more serious themes. No comp titles, which are good to include to show that you know how your book fits into the market. #RevPit #10Queries

P8: Gorgeous writing! Good showing of magic and lush world building that is shown rather than told, making the story very immersive right from the beginning. #RevPit #10Queries

Q8: A F. Concept is fire, but conflict is confusing. World needs a bit more context so that the stakes make more sense and more investment in MC. Hard to do with high fantasy, so keep it simple and focused. #RevPit #10Queries

P7: Too much telling and not enough showing and so the reader doesn’t feel invested in the MC or their conflict. Help us get to know the MC in the opening pages by SHOWING us their personality via their interactions with the world. #RevPit #10Queries

Q7: MG HF. Query running a little short (aim for around 300 words), and the plot details feel a little sparse. While we don’t want to overdo it, give enough details so that we know the stakes of the story and feel invested in the MC. #RevPit #10Queries