Q2: MG C. The premise of this story strikes me as a little mature for MG and might be better suited for YA. Think about the emotional intensity of your story when writing MG and the internal, emotional wounds of a younger MC.

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P1: Heavy on the telling instead of showing. Put us in the scene with your reader; don't simply tell us about what the MCs are experiencing. We want to experience it too!

I'm gonna drop @Maria_Tureaud's blog post on the topic: mariatureaud.com/2017/08/10/sho…

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Q1: MG F. Starts with the synopsis of the story, which doesn't immediately pull me in. I am a fan of the Hook, Book, Cook layout of a query letter. First start with the hook of your story, then a short summary of the book (no spoilers!), and an author bio.

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P10 YA A:

Amazing MC personality from the get go! Can already tell she's going to be unique! A bit of clarification is needed concerning the quest of this character but nothing a few added sentences won't fix.

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Q10 YA A:

Great tone and it conveys the stakes/plot really well w/o giving too much away! Only suggestion is to add a bit about the why behind everything.

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P9 MG F:

Great job of starting to explain and introduce the reader to this world and your characters right off the bat! I was immediately drawn in. Only one suggestion: describe your setting a bit more!

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Q9 MG F:

This is really good! Great balance with not revealing too much in regards to stakes and plot. You gave just enough to keep me reading! Go get that agent!

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P8 MG DF:

Writing was great & I got a really good sense of your character! You provided just enough information to keep me wanting more! Tho was a bit confused & disoriented with this opening so I’d suggest starting off with a later scene.

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Q8 MG DF:

Great job of infusing the MC’s tone and keeping the query to the basics! However, I do think you could allude more about your world to better help your reader understand what exactly their going into.

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P7 A C:

A bit slow on the uptake so I definitely suggest reworking the opening to speed things up. In this case, it may be better to start off with the drama/stakes. But other than that this was really good!

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Q7 A C:

This was really good! Great job of being concise and giving us just the right amount of information to hook us! Tho, I do think you could give a little bit more information to help clarify a few threads!

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P6 A T(hriller):

Characters definitely drew me in and left me wanting to read more! Yet, I do think the opening reads more like a second chapter rather than an opening. That groundwork given to us in an opening chapter is missing.

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Q6 A T:

Just a few cosmetic things: switch a few sentences around and expound on some plot points and stakes. Other than that really good—I already feel the tension between the MCs and I'm here for it 👀

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P5 A M:

Sorry to say I was completely lost. Nothing was explained to help ground and orient the readers. I think it would help if you were less inside the MCs head and explain what happen then show that ties into the overall plot.

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Q5 A M:

This one is also reading moreso like a summary. Remember to be succinct! You want to give them enough to hook then reel them in and once you have let them uncover all you've left out for shock value and make them feel all the feels

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P4 MG F:

Opening scene feels like it should be later as it doesn’t properly introduce readers to the world. Expand your world building & explain things—don’t wait for your readers to pick up on it 50 pgs later, they'll be frustrated

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Q4 MG F:

Couldn't tell what the stakes were nor could I say that I understood the plot of this one. Things aren't properly woven together and I think to fix you're going to have to clarify and go a bit more in-depth about the plot/stakes the MC has to face

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P3 YA R/C:

Lets speed it up a bit! 🏍💨 Felt too much I was reading about the MC going through the motion/mundane. But that’s nothing a little flip flop of scenes won't fix! Sometimes the perfect opening scene occurs later on!

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Q3 YA R/C: After a few clarifications and sentence restructures and you’ll be good to blow these agents away! There's a great balance of background info, the hardship the MC will be dealing with, and the stakes the MC will be forced to face.

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P2 YA Spec Fic:

Hook, line, and sink! The tone and dark atmosphere is very intriguing and makes me want more! Great job!