#QueryFail = "I've written the next big New York Times bestseller and I just need your help getting Random House to pay attention to me."

#ummmmmm
#queries

"I will make you money" #queryfail!

Guys, just because I love dark fiction, it doesn't mean I can get past manuscripts with "whores" or "sluts" in the title. You should be ashamed of yourselves. #queryfail

Huh. One email in the query slush pile is asking for an agent to...help sell their house. #oops #queryfail

Query addressed to probably every agent in the biz in inbox today. Haven't seen that for a while. Those are an auto-delete. #queryfail

#QueryFail = "this is a young adult novel like WATCHERS by Dean Koontz"

ummmmm...nope. #genre #oops

#QueryFail ="my book has werewolves which is self explanatory" NO it's not! Every fantasy has its own twist-show me what makes yours unique!

Recvd query w/"Dear publisher, or something." If you don't know my name, much less what I do, then you really shouldn't query me. #queryfail

Dear writers, I'm grateful most of you aren't like this jerk. Otherwise I would have closed submissions long ago. #agentlife #queryfail

Tell me again how your work has no comparables and you're a writer not reader. #slushpile making me snarky today #dontwastemytime #queryfail

I empathize with new writers stumbling on sub guidelines. But if you're such a newb, how'd you get my not-public email address? #queryfail

A writer just called me spoiled for rejecting his work. Because that makes sense. #agentlife #queryfail

I ask for a synopsis whenever I request material. So how is it I so often don't have a synopsis to refer to? #queryfail

#QueryFail = "I've dumbed down my reading for the younger reader." ACK! NO! *sobs* #queries

#QueryFail = "buy my book here then call me if you want to represent me"

Don’t just throw in a diverse character into your query in order to “qualify” it for my list. #QueryFail #PubTip #CLAQueries

An author tried to trick me into thinking I'd requested their sub. It didn't work. #queryfail
I know my #slushpile.

#QueryFail - "Buy My Book Here. <<amazon link>> Call Me." #facepalm

Ignored my sub guidelines & that I'm closed to queries, didn't bother to remove "fwd" from the subject. #queryfail

#QueryFail = my novel transcends genre. #oy