P8 - MG UF 🥠

Pages start with a decent chunk of dialogue and a bit of passive voice, but it's got potential. Could easily be tweaked to quicken pacing.

Still really enjoying the concept and the voice. Great scene to open with. #RevPit #10queries

Q8 - MG Urban Fantasy

This sounds so cute! I love the magic blended with MC's hobby/passion.

Confused on certain regard toward secondary character, but there's good conflict and the fantasy elements feel woven in with a fun flair.

#RevPit #10queries

P7 - YA ?? 🥗

Prologue takes up the whole sample, and the opening paragraphs are passive voice. MC is watching the surroundings rather than taking part.

Lots of dialogue slowed the pacing, and I wasn't sure how this scene tied back to details in the query. #RevPit #10queries

Q7 - YA ??

Is this sci-fi? Thriller? No genre listed.

Age is high for YA (might be NA and eventual crossover appeal).

Very long query. It's hard to see how characters are connected to each other in the plot, and the stakes are left unclear.

#RevPit #10queries

P6 - YA F 🎂

Good voice. Great opening scene. Immediately pulled in. All the sensory details here make the world 3D.

I WANT MORE. #RevPit #10queries

Q6 - YA F

LOVE first details of this. Deff paid attention to my MSWL. But, affects of magic aren't my fave. I like how stakes show these affects end up a burden/choice, so maybe?

Also, light-STEM approach! #RevPit #10queries

P5 - YA F 🥗

The pages lead right into telling language, and the scenes jump back and forth.

We start later than the query led me to believe. Why? Make sure your query and first pages tie in somehow.

#RevPit #10queries

Q5 - YA F

Query logistics leave me confused. I'm not sure what the MC did or did not do, and I'm getting the "chosen one" vibe here. Sometimes works, so withholding judgement.

This seems like Urban Fantasy rather than true Fantasy.

#RevPit #10queries

P4 - MG Contemporary 🥠

Love the first paragraph. Great hook and voice, and I like getting to know the character.

These are solid first pages and definitely hold any interest that was slipping before.

#RevPit #10queries

Q4 - MG Contemporary

I like how the query mixes deeper theming with sport outlet. However, details of MC's life make it feel odd she could accomplish what's described.

End reveal doesn't feel strong enough when tying back to plot. Good journey, though. #RevPit #10queries

P4 - YA F 🎂

The pages make me cringe at first with certain subject matter (natural to the world, though), and the conflict arrives very quickly. Shows potential, and the voice is good, so I'm still wanting to read more! #RevPit #10queries

Q3 - YA F

Two story details high on my MSWL. Plus LGBT!

Query has me excited about the world, but seems to have a lot of plot elements. I'm left unsure if the storyline will be too hectic, but I want to read on!

#RevPit #10queries

P2 - YA Con. F 🥗

First pages immediately hit me with passive voice. Check the repetition: a lot of "I" beginning sentences and paragraphs.

Give me more of an active seen. Doing rather than "should have done". But good setup on character detail.
#RevPit #10queries

Q2 - YA Con. F

Interesting choices for characters, but the plot basis isn't grabbing me. Leaves me wondering how the fantasy aspect plays a factor.

Stakes don't feel strong enough. I need to know why to care about the outcome. #RevPit #10queries

P1 - MG Fantasy 🎂

Lovely voice that draws me in. Shows areas that could be tightened, but has a lot of promise. I love how I'm plopped right into the mythical aspect of the world!

Setting and character established right off the bat. Gives the "need to know" #RevPit #10queries

Q1 - MG Fantasy

Query jumps right into the conflict and world details that make it unique. Was immediately intrigued.

Gives just enough to keep me guessing; stakes are a bit unclear but still draw me in. It's different and love the inspiration behind it! #RevPit #10queries

Q10: In my #MSWL request I asked for literary/psychological horror, instead the author sends me slasher horror. Pass #10queries

Q9: There’s nothing wrong w/ the writing, but there are no surprising images or ideas. Don’t get a sense of the characters. Pass. #10queries

Q8: Opens w/ super famous line from another book almost verbatim. Also switches between present & past tense mid-sentence. Pass. #10queries

Q7: 3rd time author has queried me on the same book. Past 2 times she told me she had an offer soon after sending. Pass. #10queries