Q7: YA contemp. Great pitch, intriguing concept, definitely a story that should be shared. Writing in sample was all dialogue/white space, telling instead of showing. Pass. #tenqueries

Q6: F. Stellar query/premise, intense obstacles, tangible world. Comp'd a client title. Writing in the sample too vague & grand, stilted dialogue. Sad pass. #tenqueries

When writing fantasy, focus on MC's immediate scene in opening chapters, then expand out. Not world/backstory.

Q5: Defined as NA Fantasy, then at the end of the sentence YA Urban Fantasy. Continued to tell me about the story in the most vague sense, no specifics apart from a character name. Pass. #tenqueries

"Running for one's life/saving the world" is fantasy at large. Be specific.

Q4: WF. Topical, discussable, great drive and obstacles in the query. Writing in the sample showed momentum, good pacing, authentic dialogue. Partial. #tenqueries #querywin

Q3: YA HF. Good comp titles, good premise, underrep'd time period and voices. The writing in the sample full of cliches, stilted dialogue, and opened in the wrong place for the story. Pass. #tenqueries

Q2: F. Arthurian retelling, using the same names & plot. Pass. #tenqueries

I like the legend of King Arthur & I like novels inspired by it. But that's the key word: inspired. Your plot have twists from the original. Consider changing names & settings too. Make it stand out.

Q1: "General fiction." A whole query in questions. I've no idea what this is about. Pass. #tenqueries

Please refrain from opening queries with philosophical questions, "what would you," etc. #querytip

#tenqueries 11. Quite a bit of telling in the pages! Not much showing, so no connection with the story or character. :(

#tenqueries 10. A little too proper in language, not utilizing contractions, etc.. Because of this, it doesn’t quite flow like I would hope it would. Another unfortunate pass. :(

#tenqueries 9. Manuscript under 30k words for an adult genre. Far too low to sell! Sorry, but it has to be a pass.

#tenqueries 8. Picture book, which I don’t represent at this time. Sorry! Pass.

#tenqueries 7. The opening of this one has so much world building that it’s slightly overwhelming and seems unnecessary. I’m unfortunately not being drawn into your character’s story because there’s nothing about your character here to connect to. Just what’s around them.

#tenqueries 6. I’m very confused how this manuscript is three different genres that are exact opposites of each other? What confuses me more is that the query is only a sentence long and tells me nothing about the manuscript? Sorry, but this is a pass.

#tenqueries 5. Breaking the 4th wall in order to set up a scene in the beginning just doesn’t work for me. I’d rather you jump me right in to the character’s perspective rather than trying to set a scene by having your character talk directly to me. Sorry!

#tenqueries 4. Short, chopped sentences with a lack of fluency due to telling rather than showing in the opening. Word count is also low due to this, as it usually takes more words to show. :( Pass.

#tenqueries 3. Starting with a lot of backstory and flashbacks, which isn’t engaging me with the character and pulling me into the story. Unfortunate pass.

#tenqueries 2. Great premise, unfortunately the writing/voice was just sounding more adult than YA to me. Unfortunate pass, because that was a super cool concept. :(

#tenqueries 1. Good opening with character and intrigue, but not much world building and a bit too much telling in order to try to fit a large amount of details in there. Be careful of this in opening scenes as it distances your reader with too much info!

Q10: Adult historical fiction. Makes a convincing argument for why the setting is important, but doesn't talk at all about the specific characters and their struggles. Pass. #tenqueries

Q9: Adult Fantasy, but uses only YA comps? Writing in the letter is stilted. Pass. #tenqueries