#5 = contemporary romance. Great premise but, alas, the writing is weak and there's not enough detail about the protagonists for me to feel the chemistry. PASS #5QueriesIn5Tweets

#4 = science fiction. Query includes author bio, title, links to previously published (self published) books and no pitch. PASS #5QueriesIn5Tweets

#3 = middle grade fantasy. An interesting heroine but the premise and conflict feel generic and derivative. My gut reaction is "we've seen this kind of thing before" and writing isn't strong enough to convince me otherwise. PASS #5QueriesIn5Tweets

#2 = paranormal romance. Writing (basic grammar and sentence structure) is weak. Query says "lots of cool adventures" but isn't specific about conflict or romance. PASS #5QueriesIn5Tweets

#1 = science fiction. Query is unspecific about the plot and is confusing in terms of characters. Lots of details and lists (what exists in the world, who the people are, etc) but it doesn't tell a story. PASS #5QueriesIn5Tweets

#tenqueries 10: Adult Fiction: This pitch is explained to me rather than pitched. I’d much rather draw my own conclusions, instead of being told what’s happening. Think of a pitch as a form of storytelling. It must be engaging in that way. Pass

#tenqueries 9: YA Speculative: This is too long everywhere except for the pitch. Remember that the pitch is what gets the agent’s attention—not your bio, or why you’re querying that agent, etc. Pass

#tenqueries 8: YA contemp. A road trip story, which there are many of, and I'm not convinced that this one will stand out quite enough based on the pitch and what I read. This is hard, as it's good writing, but I don't feel the timing is right. Pass

#tenqueries 7: Adult Sci-Fi Thriller. There is not enough of a pitch in this query, and too many rhetorical questions. Don’t give your readers the option of answering those questions with “no” and losing interest. Pass.

#tenqueries 6: YA Fantasy. This has a classic underdog/David vs. Goliath premise, but it's pitched in a way that doesn't invest us in this underdog's success. It's hard to get any sense of the protag, and so he felt too much like a vehicle for the premise. Pass.

#tenqueries 5: YA Contemporary. I wasn’t taken in by the pitch itself & wasn’t connecting to the voice in the first few pages. It felt a little too flat, like a report on events rather than a story we get to live with the protagonist. I love MSs with big emotions on page 1. Pass.

#tenqueries 4: YA Fantasy: author has combined several genre extra descriptors (ex, but not this one: "YA fantasy-adventure romance"), which can be a little excessive. But my true hesitation here was that the opening was too expository without enough tension/action. Pass .

#tenqueries 3: YA Sci-Fi. This pitch is much too vague. What makes this story special, different, unique from other sci-fis out there? Unfortunately, I can’t tell with this one from the pitch. Pass.

#tenqueries 2: YA Contemporary. This pitch is too quiet. The conflict--both external and internal--isn’t big enough for me to believe it can encompass an entire manuscript. Pass #tenqueries

#tenqueries 1: YA Contemporary. This query is well-written and engaging, and more than anything, makes me curious to see how everything is going to play out. Request. (An auspicious start!)

#tenqueries takeaway: I like quiet middle grade novels. One of my favorite MG's is THE THING ABOUT LUCK by Cynthia Kadohata, which is definitely on the quieter side plot-wise, but emotionally it is LOUD and so resonate and perfect. Defining your emotional hook is KEY.

Some #tenqueries takeaways: you make your premise interesting by being specific but also focused. Don't throw in every plot line, but instead define what your story is at a core level. If you can't do that, it may be a bigger editorial issue to revisit in the MS itself.

#tenqueries 10: MG Fantasy. This feels more like sci-fi than fantasy—again, remember to pitch your story accurately. I also found the query seemed to rely on quite a few overly familiar plot lines. Pass .

#tenqueries 9: MG Contemporary. This pitch focuses strongly on the challenge of moving from elementary to middle school. But SO many people deal with that transition: what makes this particular character's story worthy of a whole novel? Pass.

#tenqueries 8: MG Adventure Fantasy. This features far too many main characters (I'm not sure who all is at the center of the story and who is a secondary character from the pitch), which perhaps contributes to its very long word count. Pass.