Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P8: Repetitive sentence start (careful starting all w/ I, She, He, etc). Should vary structure & decrease narrative voice

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit That's all for #10queries right now! I'll be back (probably tomorrow) for another round.

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P10: Story doesn't start w/ MC. Query didn't mention any supporting character POVs. Makes me feel off balance as reader

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries Q10: Adult Women's Fic. MC motives not my taste. Rather than growth, query shows consequences w/o end resolution

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P9: Odd contrast in 1st page. Family details apparent that I didn't see coming from query. Unsure but MC seems unlikable

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries Q9: New Adult Romance. Every male character painted as sexually/socially dominant jerk. Can't tell how benefits plot

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries Q8: Adult Women's Fic. 2 plots seem at odds (weird mix for this book). Wonder if pgs will be unclear of find a blend

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P7: Good voice, but unsure MCs need to be painted so sexual right off the bat. Again, shame about word count =[

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries Q7: Adult Romance. LOVE the power complex here. But word count is WAY too low. This is novella length =[

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P6: Beginning needs clearer details. Where are we & why? Leaves too much to guess. Voice doesn't quite click w/ me

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries Q6: Adult Contemp. Confused on real plot of story. Seems multiple fighting for top spot. Beginning needs more grounding

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P5: Another fixable 1st line. Natural writing, good voice. Love taste of both POVs. NEED TO SEE MORE!

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries Q5: Adult Romance. Great hook & stakes. Great job finding conflict in romance. Love plan for series details. <3

Kaitlyn Johnson @kaitylynne13 · 8 Apr 2017

#RevPit #10queries P4: Awkward 1st line. Starts w/ POV not promised in query. Suggest new beginning w/ MC to understand situation better